Discovered draft from 2014: Scared if I move on, whats there?
Discovered draft from 2014/15:
Scared if I move on, whats there?
I had a really great productive day, but find myself sitting here plotting on bed time, feeling extreme discomfort in my stomachs pit, is it bc I texted an ex, because I am afraid of my next business venture? Worried about why my surgery scar on my chest is healing with pain from over a month ago? Or that I have big choices to make in my career moves and Im not sure what the heck is coming or going right now!
"He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them." Psalms 145:19
Midway thru this thought process I spoke with my mom trying to find words to explain the awkward feeling I was experiencing in my own skin. She only called to tell me a funny story and I told her how I didn't really understand why I would feel how I felt and that maybe it was the uncomforted of not knowing what was next in my life since so many changes were taking place, but what I think may have me most confused is the why wouldn't I be more happy about that? *I guess I expect rainbow and butterflies to float me thru every transition in my life* or some burst of sparks after every magical move I make to keep me inspired… I don't know but I don't like feeling the way I was….and still winging out of.
I decided to read a daily devotional a friend text me a couple days ago and after went to my Bible app to review the scriptures provided in the text and came across yesterdays verse of the day which is quoted above and thought to myself hmmm
I go on to todays provided verse for November 2nd and accidentally read for Oct 31st, it is as follows : "Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, " I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in the darkness, because you will have the light that leads you to life."John 8:12 … was that it? was I in a moment of darkness and with Him , my lord, and my Jesus I can be pulled up, dashed with a sprinkle of faith, and be equipped, "lit up" ready to walk into this "discomfort/uncomfortable … grey lonely" area in my life and be ok?
It can all be a bit confusing and some times our spirit can get sick too.
Scared if I move on, whats there?
I had a really great productive day, but find myself sitting here plotting on bed time, feeling extreme discomfort in my stomachs pit, is it bc I texted an ex, because I am afraid of my next business venture? Worried about why my surgery scar on my chest is healing with pain from over a month ago? Or that I have big choices to make in my career moves and Im not sure what the heck is coming or going right now!
"He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them." Psalms 145:19
Midway thru this thought process I spoke with my mom trying to find words to explain the awkward feeling I was experiencing in my own skin. She only called to tell me a funny story and I told her how I didn't really understand why I would feel how I felt and that maybe it was the uncomforted of not knowing what was next in my life since so many changes were taking place, but what I think may have me most confused is the why wouldn't I be more happy about that? *I guess I expect rainbow and butterflies to float me thru every transition in my life* or some burst of sparks after every magical move I make to keep me inspired… I don't know but I don't like feeling the way I was….and still winging out of.
I decided to read a daily devotional a friend text me a couple days ago and after went to my Bible app to review the scriptures provided in the text and came across yesterdays verse of the day which is quoted above and thought to myself hmmm
I go on to todays provided verse for November 2nd and accidentally read for Oct 31st, it is as follows : "Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, " I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in the darkness, because you will have the light that leads you to life."John 8:12 … was that it? was I in a moment of darkness and with Him , my lord, and my Jesus I can be pulled up, dashed with a sprinkle of faith, and be equipped, "lit up" ready to walk into this "discomfort/uncomfortable … grey lonely" area in my life and be ok?
It can all be a bit confusing and some times our spirit can get sick too.
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