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Bump on the log

Sooo its been a while since I have posted a blog and boy oh boy do I miss blogging, trust I blog all day in my head but it never seems to hit this wall. I am in a pickle as some might call it, but it can be considered a good thing. I have a split decision to make in my life and sometimes I just don't know which way to go? My career to success and my road to my academic goals sometimes seem to collide and leave "poor ol me" in a rut of thinking poop pile! I want to be successful and I want to complete school and I want to stay active in my nonprofit but geesh how can a girl do it all? I have the support and I have the drive but there's not much I can do to make my body cooperate while chemo and rest are number one priorities for it right now. I feel like a log in a river just floating along with all the right lumps sitting on top but there isn't much I can do to reach them all at once. The more I try to reach I just spin around back into to the river. I ho...
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Someone inspired me and they might not even know.

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So one inspired me and they might not even know.  I have to stop allowing things to STOP ME. I get so distracted by all of my own bullshit that I don’t even seeee it!  I want to break free, I want to so bad! I have been wanting to all my life but never knew what I was freeing of!  It’s my myself! It’s always the freeing of the old version of you that didn’t know what you know now.  I use to get stuck in a rut for longer than I needed, if I trusted myself from jump I would be better off. Instead of feeling the heat or rip of not learning these lessons. I train myself to stop, as much as possible bull shit, at all cost now. I watch others make things do what it do and even some of them are inspired by me so what the hell was I thinking lol That’s that BULLSHIT not anymore. Not anyone. Not ANY FUCKING THING. I think we’ve got this. God had yet to fail me this far. And He never will. 
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March 4 2020

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Just submitted my life away on Indeed and now I lay me down to sleep and all I have is a feeling of wow.... It's been so long since I've been much besides a Real Estate agent (which in its self has been a form of a therapist)  and I feel so in awe of my life and in awe of God and all that He has done at this point in my life. I have thoughts that float as I stared off into my closets sliding doors and in this deflated feeling I have joy. I have enough joy in my relaxation I decided to blog lol. I just wanted to share my appreciation and raw feeling to my new transition in life. I had to update my resumes and really sit back and look at myself on paper and I look pretty darn well. The paper (updated resume) can never truly reflect my heart but I know God is leading me in His direction and will cover all my wants and needs and anything else in my benefit. I love you all and good night. Remember this is not the end... He ALWAYS has something for you. xoxoxo
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